soundtrack: Beck - Timebomb
I kind of feel like a timebomb right now. Angry, frustrated, excited, sad.
Lots of change to deal with.

I got my exchange portfolio for KABK ready and mailed two weeks ago. I wasn’t happy with how the portfolio turned out at all and keep having this sinking feeling whenever I think about it. It is difficult to want something as much and for as long as I have wanted this. It’s self destructing somehow. And now there is nothing more I can do, it is out of my hands. Whatever is meant to happen, will happen, I guess. So now, I wait.

Oliver Jeffers, via my friend Hilda who went to his lecture the other day. Lucky her!

soundtrack: Tori Amos - Lust (listening to old Tori songs lately)

Shooting work for my portfolio yesterday, Tuukka helped out and took this photo of me with the cards.

It’s getting warm. Eating ice cream outside, sitting on a sunny spot drinking bad coffee from a paper cup - kind of warm. All I want to do is go outside but no time to lay in the sun today. Just work. But everything will be done by next weekend.

Tons of schoolwork to finish, twelve hour day at school for me today. And so much more to do in a week or so. But I’ve found my calm somehow.

Sleeping accidentally late yesterday, a late evening coffee out with a friend, a new sky blue gardigan, life is good.

Today I am in love with these photos and a beautiful blog, manteli.

Now some sleep.

I always know the spring is really here when the symptoms of travel bug start to surface. I look through my old travel pictures, sighing. Talk increasingly about travel memories to anyone willing to listen. Then I start talking my best friend over, for us to book some cheap flights on a whim… Does anyone else get like this?

This year the holiday dreams are more like future dreams, though. And I need to travel them alone.

On a day like this one needs to listen to Golden. I bought the record in Amsterdam three years ago, so those two are eternally linked.

cool video my classmate made (in finnish).

Where there’s laughter, there is tears… I think I didn’t cry them all away at the time.

Turning clocks to summertime, cooking new foods, it feels like a real spring when there is sun. Today is a gray day, the kind you want to spend on a sofa wrapped into a blanket, and a third day of mysterious searing joint pain. Or not so mysterious, perhaps. But today there were also the best pancakes of my life, lots of coffee and magazines.

On most other days I’ve been feeling well. And not just well, but better than ever in my life. Dreaming vivid dreams in the night. Feeling awake before my morning coffee. No fighting off sleep after every meal. A couple of days ago I laughed so hard my stomach hurt (in a good way), tears streaming down my face, because I just couldn’t stop laughing once I got started. I think it’s been years since I laughed like that. I hope there is more where that came from.

Enough is enough.
I couldn’t agree more.

Happy Easter! I am off to a week long holiday, visiting family, and boy do I need it… just to sleep really late, read a lot and eat some chocolate. Oh, and perfect my tofu cheesecake recipe.

Lately I’ve been into cooking:
gluten free day
have cake, will travel

Visiting Porvoo made me wonder whether I’d like to move back to a small town some day. It was so quiet, and dark, but still felt like home after almost ten years. I love giant cities where each district has it’s own feel, like Berlin, but it can’t be a coincidence my old hometown and my favourite spot in the world (for now at least) share some characteristics. Crooked streets, old wonky buildings and the possibility of getting everywhere by bike.

P.S. I’ve been working on my portfolio a bit. I like the super bare look for now.

Drawn to bright colours. I need the energy.
Later today: going to my old hometown Porvoo to take photos and see my cousins’ gig.

Rainy day made better by beautiful mail. I’ve also got a stack of dutch magazines to read (the perfect way to study the language).

The cold is gone, I have a craving for yoga classes and fresh air. I feel like I am coming out of winter hibernation, shedding skin, thinking new things. Most days I wake up before the alarm clock, maybe it is possible to store sleep after all…

A couple of days school too, this week. Yesterday we visited:
Hahmo Design
Kokoro&Moi (ex-Syrup Helsinki)