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Turning clocks to summertime, cooking new foods, it feels like a real spring when there is sun. Today is a gray day, the kind you want to spend on a sofa wrapped into a blanket, and a third day of mysterious searing joint pain. Or not so mysterious, perhaps. But today there were also the best pancakes of my life, lots of coffee and magazines.

On most other days I’ve been feeling well. And not just well, but better than ever in my life. Dreaming vivid dreams in the night. Feeling awake before my morning coffee. No fighting off sleep after every meal. A couple of days ago I laughed so hard my stomach hurt (in a good way), tears streaming down my face, because I just couldn’t stop laughing once I got started. I think it’s been years since I laughed like that. I hope there is more where that came from.

Enough is enough.
I couldn’t agree more.

(some Vilnius pics up.)

listening: kt tunstall-someday soon, feeling quiet.

I think it’s time to put myself away
Seek out a little silence
Close the doors and sit a while
Walk a little

I’ve been feeling quiet.

Tomorrow is buy nothing day. Here’s some hints on how to spend the day. My family is also doing buy nothing Christmas, or something pretty close to it.

P.S. Also addicted to Sad Song, by Room Eleven. Hope to see them play sometime.

Dear You,

Today was perfect. Crisp, cold, sunny, just right for the first real Sunday walk of the autumn. I felt I haven’t really seen, looked around.. in a long time. (I haven’t breathed this deep.) Slowing down doesn’t come naturally for me, but this weekend my todo-list was wiped empty. And now, Sunday night, I feel calm, happy. I have it in me, still. Right now, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

The decision to concentrate on studies fulltime feels like the right thing to do. Even more so after this weekend. I rattled around, nervously, not knowing what to do, when there was nothing I had to do.. I claim back my weekends, to work on that. And to go for more walks. And to read books.

I will do this at my own pace. Lately I have thought of this concept - slow work. When everything in our culture seems to be about faster, faster, more, more…

Last week’s lectures were interesting and disturbing. I am even more confused about what I want to do in the future. But it’s an ongoing state, I think. I also think I might be allergic to ad agency people.

Yesterday I went to see Rut Bryk exhibition at the design museum and fell in love with her work. The colour combinations were amazing and the less modern pieces very illustration-like.

P.S. Today’s soundtrack (still love this song).

During the last month and a half, living out of a suitcase, it’s become clear how important it is to have a real home. I need to find one, very soon. A place where I can put up all my pictures, drink coffee from my favourite mug, stare out of the kitchen window… I want all my own stuff around me. I feel like I am holding my breath until.

p.s. I am in love with this video.

Rainy grey mornings make waking up gentler. It’s okay to be a little grumpy.

listening: Jill Scott/Golden (amsterdam soundtrack from two years ago)
liking: Bookmooch (got and sent a few books already.)
missing: traveling, holland
inspiration: Kirin Notebook

I love early wake ups. Slow mornings. Beautiful breakfasts. A quiet moment before starting on the list of million things to do..

p.s. hooked on Hungary’s eurovision contest song.

Life’s like the sea. It’s all about surviving in the dark. And it’s so big. You wouldn’t believe how big it is. (And then you figure, there must be another fish like you. And there is. But, you know, the sea, it’s like huge. Just keep swimming honey, it’s all going to be alright.) -k

Forgive me for my absence. I’ve been going through some rough time lately and have needed to conserve my effort to school and work stuff. Writing is what I need to do, but maybe not right here (writing is your garden, he said.)

And writing, I do feel like writing. I have this picture book in my head. Something I am doing just for me this summer. First step is writing.

flea markets and lovely light.

I like the rain.
(I miss You.)

uploaded some pics from last summer. this photo by Sia makes me holland home-sick.

A couple of days spent just on me, doing all kinds of nurturing things. Going to yoga and swimming. Making vegan pizza and lazing on the sofa. Sleeping late and seeing friends. Recharging batteries.

From now on I try to abide to the golden productivity rule: take one day off each week. That means a day completely free from any kind of work. No computer, no work calls, emails, nothing. Preferably get out off the house, and stay out, if that is the only way to keep you from doing stuff. This also cannot be turned into a housework day. It is supposed to inspire and relax you.

To busy-inclined individuals (like me) this might seem harsh and difficult, but it is supposed to up your productivity in other days so much that you actually get more done. I guess I need to try this.

What do you do to relax?

Yesterday afternoon, sunny street, moment of peace and relief. Remember that feeling.

I’ve been feeling scattered, distracted, not good at all. My mind spent on these things, stuff I have been pushing away, but I now have to deal with. It is funny how when you start to value yourself in some aspects (work, school) it becomes impossible to ignore other things eating you up. I guess that is called good self esteem.

It’s another busy week at school. A concept for an event, then graphic design to match. Entrance ticket, flyer, probably poster next. Did I say school was easy? I take that back now. Yet I like it that way.

On monday we also had to turn in this big magazine design job, which I slaved over all weekend. That one got so much praise, I felt like blushing. I need to learn to value myself. And better yet, take care of myself.

Today’s mail brought this birthday card and some lovely collagé goodies from Joleen. Thank you sweetie, I can’t wait to use them. And thank you all for your kind words..

Recently I’ve been inspired by Penelope’s posts about balancing work and taking care of herself better. Especially the one about meditation. I have my version in ballet practice. Every week, three to five times, I go through the same series of movements in the same order. Plies, tendus, jetes, ronds… In four years the easiest movements have become the most difficult. Getting better is about learning how little I really know. There are good dance days and bad. Days of good balance and perfect pirouettes, and days when you can’t even stand right. But it’s always good to be there, be present, and try. And then start again on another day.