Pouring down
July 9th, 2007
came home from Berlin to this package from Sia.
Today I like being just where I am. Today is about rainy day things: work, emails, tea, crafting. Listening to slow things like maps and diagrams. I want to have time to decorate, a workspace with an inspiration wire, now that I have room. (I can hang out all my treasures and postcards!) I want to bake cupcakes. I want candles. See, the little things are starting to feel good again, slowly.
Sia and I were talking about that laser quote (pale … glow) again. I think you need reminders like that around. I am sick of being so afraid of everything. I am sick of constantly worrying about what other people might think of me and the things that I do. I am sick of my blog-writing being so constrained, not to appear too boring or flakey… to appear cool (what an absurd thing to want to be at 26, surely I am over that). Perhaps I am shedding skin.
this I jotted down at the jewish museum:
If we don’t use our physical and mental capabilities, we lose them. I notice in conversations that I have to look for words that I often used in the past but can’t remember now because I no longer use them…
-from Jean Heinemann’s notebook
I feel like this a lot. In totally different context, of course. Growing up seems to be about missing some parts of yourself… has something better taken place?
——-
Over the weekend I worked on this: 
These are (were) my favourite shoes of all time, but so “well worn” they were starting to hurt my feet. I thought they deserved a proper funeral… It was so much fun to craft! I need to do more this type of projects. Some t-shirts, maybe.