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Rainy day tea here -Amsterdam 06

Travel journals are among my favourite things in the world. While away from home you see so much you start to think differently, open up. I always try to write a lot while I am away. And jot down these little details and notes…

In the turquoise bar it is playing Zero 7 - home and it’s perfect.

Something of this world dies for we don’t write letters anymore. Read: the book of Van Gogh’s letters … His black birds are really black…

Tons of stuff to do: some work, emails, laundry, luggage insurance, packing… then tomorrow morning we will leave for Berlin! Let’s see if it can steal my heart from Amsterdam (like everyone thinks it will.) I have my doubts.

I’ll leave you with some links:
t-post is a really really cool project! I’d love to subscribe because I suck at finding cool t-shirts. If anyone ever wants to gift me, t-shirt is the thing…

More t-shirts: girls of boredom, made by my school friend Inka. I really want to get the one with the streched character.

The swedish Emma has a new photoblog. You can read that while I am gone, since she is an Emma after all.

If you are in Helsinki 30.6. go see my friend Eero Johannes play at Alppipuisto. I will hopefully be at the Daft Punk-gig…

Be well everyone <3

Oh, the colours and tastes of summer foods… strawberries, ice cream and coffee while watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the millionth time.

Tomorrow: Shoe-shopping for shoes that don’t hurt my feet. I’ve got an old dance injury on my left foot that kills me some times (and that should be checked out, I know). Recently I’ve realised the girlier the shoes, the better they are for my feet. I should always wear something with atleast a little heel, not all these bad van’s and converse, sigh… And I am not a heels kinda girl… yet.

me at Berlin-zoo circa 1990

Yesterday I found some of that long lost travel excitement… We are leaving in a week (yep, next Wednesday). I’ve been to Berlin twice before, but I was so young I don’t remember much of it. I also used to speak german pretty well, but that’s long forgotten. I think I’ll go with my English.

So yesterday’s work avoidance was listening to my favourite german pop bands, like Juli, and looking for gigs we could go to while there. We will try to get tickets to see Daft Punk at Velodrom (their Paris gig looks incredible), I hope it doesn’t sell out!

Do you have any Berlin-tips for me?

Today seems to be full of exciting things:
- Sia and Floris coming to Finland in August! Can’t wait to show them around Helsinki. I hope they fall in love with it.
- With the mail came a magazine with one of my illustrations. Check out the real thing if you get the chance. It’s a full two page spread!
(added to my portfolio here)

Good things:

• The living situation is possibly working out. I might be able to stay at my mother’s old apartment for a year (I intend to spend the school year after the next abroad, so the idea of going into trouble of looking for a flat and making a home and then leaving again bums me out).
• Got my coffeecups here now.
• Trimmed my hair (actually my mother did that).
• Despite everything I’ve done a lot of work recently, on some really interesting projects too. Should find more new work soon, though…
• Going to Berlin for a week with my best friend. Knowing us, it will be drinking coffee, walking, more coffee… exploring a whole new city. I love travel more than anything. And airports, I like airports.

It’s got to be harder, before it gets easier.
—-

It feels weird sharing this with the internet, but it’s hard to write about anything without addressing this somehow; it’s time to write a few words about the break-up, finally.

We had a wonderful year together and someone will be very lucky to marry this man, but it’s not going to be me. In retrospect, we rushed into commitment, moved in together too fast, but really, I don’t think I’d have it any other way.

Every other moment I doubt myself, fear this is the biggest mistake of my life. Deep down I know it’s the right thing to do. We love each other, that much is clear, but there is some connection missing. The soulmate thing, whatever that is. The talking to three a.m. -thing.

It’s been a month and some weeks apart now. We’ve talked and talked and thought this through. It’s been difficult. Just how difficult, has only really hit me this week, the first time since the break-up that we spent a whole day without talking on the phone or emailing.

There are some good days, when world seems really big and promising. The sunny Jill Scott -listening days, when everything is possible. And then there are bad days (and bad weeks) and no one there, just to sit with me. Life seems pretty bleak right now. Big and scary to face alone.

Now there are just these crying phone calls. Making it all more final.

I know, in time, I will be okay. But in the mean time, friends, please call me some time and ask me out to play (or just sit in silence). I am so bad at asking for anything but I really really need you now.
(I have never been this alone.)

—-
thank you and sorry.

During the last month and a half, living out of a suitcase, it’s become clear how important it is to have a real home. I need to find one, very soon. A place where I can put up all my pictures, drink coffee from my favourite mug, stare out of the kitchen window… I want all my own stuff around me. I feel like I am holding my breath until.

p.s. I am in love with this video.

colour sketch for an invite to a jazz-happening, drawing texts next

I am a busy busy worker bee right now, so just inspirational links today:
my namesake emmas designblog, where you can find all kinds of wonderful things like.. bubbo-tubbo’s lettering and finders keepers.

Any young entrepreneurs out there who do your own accounting? Do you use some kind of software or do you stick to your excel sheets? I’ve been excelling so far, and that’s fine, but… I’d like to find a simple and free system and there’s tons and tons of those for personal finance, but you can’t log in VAT and stuff like that with those.

For personal pennies I really like moneytrackin. And here’s some others.

While other people seem to think accounting and billing is a drag, I have to admit I secretly get a kick out of doing paperwork. What can I say, I like numbers… sometimes I think I am more of a business person than an artist.