a week and a day ago the pieces of my life flew in the air, only to fall down to better places. and now there is this man who plays me vinyl-records, makes music, and love to me.
and he is mine. and i am his. nothing has ever been clearer.
just so that you remember. you and me. yes.
yes.
The best thing to do, to get to here and now - immersing myself in work. And there is so much to do, when all I want to do is paint. (oh well, later)
Yesterday I went to the school to handle officialities, and like every once in a while all summer, while generally being in denial, it hit me: “I am really going to go to this fab school here. I can’t believe it.” Today I bought school supplies, and finally it’s catching on. Excitement. What will happen, who will I meet, what will I learn, how will I change… School starts on Monday.
And right now I am connected to this place - Going for a run on the beach to check up how the baby swans have grown in my absence. They are bigger, but still grey. No hurry anywhere.
All the things I am attracted to are just about to disappear.
- Tacita Dean
Sorting through the travel pictures makes me homesick. Holland-sick. At the supermarket I grab the falafel mix (for a really really bad day, to pretend you have maoz). I look up the dutch courses at the university. (Did I mention my vocabulary has extended from 10- to 100+ words already) I sort through the BA course syllabus to figure out when it would be best to do the student exchange -thing (not until third year, shit!). My body is here, yet my mind isn’t. Not even nearly.
Home is a portable thing, a mental state, right?
more pics to come soon!
dutch men cycling in pinstripe suits, girls in shorts and boots and vests (?!?), cute boys and all the bicycles everywhere, rain and more rain, tomato soup in foodism, tofu-lemon “cheesecake” at green planet, large coffees to go, the parks, many many maoz picnics, the clubs, the crooked streets, the canals crossing here and there, and most of all the houses…
Now I am back and everything here looks so grey… the first batch of laundry is in the machine and Anouk is playing. I still didn’t find a cute dutch boy to live happily ever after with, school starts in a week or so, and I still don’t know if I need to move.
For some reason my phone didn’t work (gah!!) so I didn’t get any of your messages, Sia. I tried to send you a couple but they didn’t go anywhere either. It would have been lovely to meet you! I got a stomach bug on Saturday, and after the worst of that was over I was just kind of wiped out. For the same reason I didn’t get to Hague, although I really wanted to, (after finding a flyer about the gem exhibition), and to better imagine stydying at KABK, and to see Silvia of course.
But you know what, I’ll be back!