emmalaiho.net/blog

Art is not often commissioned.
We commission ourselves to make art
- Julia Cameron, The Sound of Paper

Week ago a friend and I talked about choosing careers, and especially about creative professions. She said she just doesn’t have it in her. Whatever it is. She is one of those multitalented people who is pretty great at whatever she tries her hand on. Writing, making clothes, painting… you name it.

She tells me doing that stuff is nice, but she has no real urge to do any of it. She has trouble following through her projects and although she thinks she would like a creative profession, the thought of the hard work and unstability cripples her with fear. She also fears not being original.

Half-mockingly she says I live in “the world of big plans.”
What it comes down to, I tell her, is that the excitement is far bigger than the fear. There is some kind of residual childishness, that makes me see the world as a way more magical place than most. Do what you love and things will turn out fine. “But you know me, I am such a flake,” I end the conversation.

Now I want to say -
It’s so much easier than you think. Do the little things, one drawing, one page at a time, make it work for you, not the other way round. Find your muses and catalysts, whatever works is not cheating. It’s real work, but remember to have fun…

(of course I had to scan it)

I got in!

The results were supposed to come on 21st day, at the latest, but they already came yesterday! I am so incredible happy it is hard to describe. Socks rolling on your feet, like Eero, the friend I got to know in the exams said (he also got in, yay!). Although I feel so weirdly calm, that the whole thing probably hasn’t really sunk in yet.

My total score was 48 (out of 55), and 40 was the lowest score to get in. What makes me most happy is that I got full points for the interview. And for the comic book as well.

What more can I say? Life is changing again…

Contrary to the popular belief, I haven’t fallen of the face of the earth.

Instead, I have been:
enjoying my new 20″ flat screen
starting new work projects
redesigning emmalaiho.com
setting up nucleus (it’s bye bye blogger, soon)
and enjoying the sun…

I have tons of blogs to read, tons of projects to get back to and emails to answer. And I will… soon… I promise.

What have you been up to?

(10 page comic book in four hours… madness)

Yesterday I fell asleep during kiss kiss bang bang on dvd. That gives you some idea how tired I am.

It is such a strange feeling when something you have waited and feared for, for over a year, is done, gone. There is nothing else I can do anymore, to make it happen! The scores from the second stage were something so amazing to me… like a validation of all the hard work I’ve put into this. Whatever happens, it’s a great win. And it feels good to continue from here.

They are picking 16 students of the 42 third stage applicants. The final results should come June 21st at the latest. Until then I have to try think of other things, although I know it is impossible. I do have this urge to do some art, so maybe that helps.

One of the exam assignments was to visualize your room in your favourite artists style. Mine was Hundertwasser. I don’t know which I like more, his paintings or his thoughts…

It is difficult to explain how I succeeded. Certainly not by force, also not by reflection, and not by intelligence, and not necessarily by intuition, but rather like walking in a dream. The work of an artist is indeed very difficult because it cannot be undertaken by force, dilligence or intelligence.

sketching at the exams

Long time no see…

I made the cut. With the shared highest score of 19 points. The initial goal was to make it to the third stage, but obviously, now, the bar is much higher.

I have really been enjoying the exams, which I guess is a weird thing to say, since most people hate that kind of stress. But me… I just didn’t remember how much I love drawing, since I rarely get to sit down and just do it and nothing else for hours. It’s kind of relaxing too. Very Zen.

Obviously it’s exhausting as well. After eight hour days, I come home shattered. Emotional stress is pretty hard to determine at this point. This kind of stress makes so much of you shut down. I will have to write more about the whole thing later. Only tomorrow to go!