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What do you do on a day like this, when everything broken is barely held together by sellotape?

You steal your flatmates dog on the sofa to hug. Have walnut bread with marmalade, coffee and a thousanth time of amélie for breakfast.

Yesterday is a blurry nightmare. My mind on this weird survival mode making me forget things like my cash card number, and what was the film I picked up from the video store ten minutes earlier. Seeing Brokeback mountain with Kaisa, then trying to gain our composure before going to a birthday party I was not supposed to go to. (It’s better to be around your friends.)

All the snippets of last nights conversations looping in my head.

“Every little thing someone learns about me is away from me,” he says.
“And how is that working for you?” I ask.
“It’s not.”
“Change.”

Now I want to take most of it back. All I really needed yesterday was someone holding me and not letting go. And a good cry. I am so sorry.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2006 at 5:37 pm and is filed under life.