Better. Happier.
Not at all wiser.
Disappointed. Awed.
A little more loving.
A bit less mean.
A bit more scared.
A lot more vulnerable.
A lot more resolved.
than I was a year ago.
P.S. I cut my hair.
P.P.S. We are having a party tomorrow…
I try to draw in bed, but lines get crooked and my dog tries to sink his teeth into my crayon box. I make myself promises: from now on, I’ll draw everyday. The time to start working on the preliminary assignments to schools is getting nearer. Or the arbetsprov, as some of them are called.
Oh, Konstfack has published some of the arbetsprov assignments already, but not the grafisk design och illustration.
Sleeping in and getting up even later. Cereal and coffee breakfast picnic on the sofa watching a movie.
today’s finds:
- a christmas garden elf in the hallway (who looks like he’s shitting)
- a young enigmatic couple laughing, smiling and talking to each other in sign language
- two girls in angel outfits complete with actual wings. the other one carrying an antique birdcage with some treasures inside.
what did you find today?
Christmas day at our grandmothers: Everyone is very quiet except for me and Kaisa; we seem to fill the air and sofa space and say the wrong things. Everytime I laugh it’s too loud but it makes me want to laugh even more. I was much better at containing myself before.
Kaisa cries at the funeral of four weddings. I wonder how in movies it’s heroic to tell how you feel. New life motto: what would amélie do? Only I think of it when she’s picking locks and reprogramming the phone. My mother looks suffering every time my grandmother opens her mouth. Some things get passed down through generations.
It’s a better christmas than in many years, but in the end I really want to go home.
p.s. My most sincere apologies to the person sitting beside me at Narnia. I am so sorry I laughed, but I just couldn’t help it. It was the lion and the sun. The lion in general. And then the fight. And the other stuff. Oh, come on, it was funny.
beautiful: this is ocean
I said: This has the potential of becoming the worst Christmas ever.
But that was before my mother got a fever. And a stomachflu. And my skin started to hurt and eyes glow. A long and frantic search for a thermometer that wasn’t in the sofa (only one pen and one sock), but on the floor behind the paper trash. 35.8 degrees celsius. My mother sounded like a mother on the phone. Kaisa hugged me before leaving. I said it was okay, “I’ve got a date with a sofa and a movie.”
And my father called and asked “How is my daughter?”
It is important to be my something sometimes. And have a movie date to see Narnia tomorrow. And on some other day the Pride and Prejudice which I am prepared to hate, but in the right way.